O Tidings of Comfort and Joy

As I slid into the car I noticed the humidity in the air, the noise of my fiance's Cutlass, and the Sears shopping bags in the back seat. "What's goin' on there?" I asked, curious as to what he'd done now.

"I dunno... maybe it's an entire bedroom set!" He said, excitedly. "My mum took me shopping and I picked it out. It comes with everything, blanket, pillowcases, sheets. It's sort of an un-birthday present." I glanced over my left shoulder, trying to make out the pattern in the darkness. It was after 10 in the evening, and I'd just finished a shift at work. The Man was picking me up. I couldn't really make out anything more than a couple of triangles.

"Oh no." I uttered under my breath.
"What? What is it?"
"Umm, nothing, really. I'm just, I don't know. Nervous, I guess."
"Why?"
"I don't know if I'm going to like it. I'm afraid I won't."
"You will."

We got back to the apartment, and hauled the oversize bags into the building. Immediately I dropped them on the carpet in the bedroom and flicked on the light switch, hoping for the best. I wanted to like them, I really, genuinely did. As the light came on the comforter was instantly illuminated in its shiny new packaging surrounded by throw pillows and sheets.

"Oh no." I muttered again.
"No. Holly, no. Give it a chance. I really thought of you when I picked it!"
"But I... sort of already don't like it." I said, being as friendly as I knew how to be.
"Let's just take a look at it on the bed, okay?" I gulped, terrified, seeing a vision of us putting all of the linens back in their bags when we were finished. This could not be happening.

First the bed skirt, then two sheets, all out of their bags, packaging materials strewn about the bedroom. Next the pillowcases, and finally the comforter. I stepped back and looked at the sight as the Man scrounged through yet another bag to find another piece, though I could not imagine what more could go on this bed. Suddenly I felt a heavy stone in my stomach, and my gag reflexes began to trigger. Oh. No.

The sight before me was the most masculine combination of patterns and colours I had ever seen. Not soothing, not tranquil, but harsh in geometric designs and composition. Mixes of oranges, reds, greens, suddenly I was transported to a hunting lodge, and this was the tapestry hanging from the wall. Then still, I was teleported to a teepee as I watched the chief himself dance around, his dusty feet pattering across this comforters triangle design, and once more! I find myself in the middle of a cabin, lounging on this blanket as a bear claws at the window and the deer's head on the wall glares down at me with an evil, knowing stare. This blanket could not be farther from what I would have chosen. In any world.

"Baby...?" I said in my cutest, meekest voice. The man looked up from the bag he was shuffling through and flashed me a look of recognition, then relaxed his face and eyebrows in an exhausted, frustrated way.

"What."

"Can I be honest...?" I lifted my finger to my mouth and began chewing my most vulnerable nail.

"No."

"I sort of hate it."

"What?"

"I um, I sort of don't know if I've ever seen an uglier bedroom set in my life."

Then, like a flag of victory, the man lifted from the bag a window valence, matching in pattern to the comforter, the pillowcases, the sheets, the throw pillows, and headed toward me with it, intending to put it up on the curtain rod. His eyes menacing, he marched ever closer, my life flashed before my eyes as the South American afghan pattern encircled me, closing in on me from all directions, like wallpaper over my soul.

"Noooooo!" I shouted my battlecry, throwing my hands out in front of me. Suddenly the world I knew was in slow motion, my arms entangled in the rough polyester valence, the man crashing slowly into me, soldiering onward toward the window.

When time started again I regained my composure, valence in hand. "Absolutely not. You will not put this on that window." The Man feigned confusion, as I marched past him, throwing the overpriced piece of ugly fabric to the ground, where it landed among bags and pieces of cardboard. "Baby. No."

"But, I really thought of you when I picked it out!" He claimed, hands lowered in a pleading motion, and I could tell he meant it. Though, this was not a comforting thought.

"Do you even know me? At all?"

Slowly but surely we took the pieces off the bed and carefully put them back in their bags, and assembled them in the corner of the bedroom. A mountain of my fiance's shame.

"I'm sorry, should I have not said anything?"
"No." He sighed. "I'm happy you did."
"This is what you're getting yourself into, you know."
"I know, baby."
"Are you going to take it back to your mum's? Maybe we can get a new one."
"Yeah." He breathed.

We snuggled up in the old blankets to watch some TV before retiring that day. "You know," I started. "It's sort of funny."

"What is?" He said, tilting his head at me.

"This will be the second comforter we'll be sending back to your mum's."

He paused for a few moments.

"I wish you hadn't told me that."

Update!

So I've been getting a lot of requests for a song list of some kind, so people can find what I'm listening to. I've finally added it on, and you can find it in the right toolbar! You can also find the song that the Man sang to me when he proposed there as well. Feel free to browse through the tunes, or download them at home! They are sure to soothe your soul.

To scroll through the songs (due to the less-than-favourable format of blogger.com) you have to scroll to the right in the widget box before you can find the little up/down arrow to scroll through the songs. There are over 30!

Also, the wedding countdown tool going on the right is counting down to midnight the day of my wedding, not the actual hour of my wedding! Tehe, that would be silly...

Magic in Black & White

So, the man and I were bored the other night, so we decided to dress up and go out on the balcony and take pictures in front of an old white canvas I have. Naturally this was our first choice of activity, as I imagine it would be yours.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna' get married...

Wedding events are coming along quickly and efficiently. You know, you never really know how much goes into a wedding until you have one. There are so many tiny little details that one would never even think of, really. Like, what do you put around the food on the buffet table to fill it up? How do you decorate the guest book table? Who's ever heard of a makeup trial? How are people not bored out of their minds during speeches??

To backtrack, here are the things that have already fallen nicely into place, and were a lot of fun in the process!

1. I've already asked all of my bridesmaids, and they couldn't be more thrilled. Though, it's tough because my Maid of Honour is going to be in BC until the end of August, and another of my bridesmaids is moving to Saskatchewan, and I'm not even sure if she'll be able to BE one, because of the distance and the things I'll need her for in the week preceding the big day. The other two, fortunately, are in the same province. How lucky.

2. I've asked my beautiful flower girl! And she was absolutely ecstatic, though her first remark was "I want a longer dress this time!" (it's her second time down the aisle.) I went over to her house, and we played Barbies in matching princess crowns for a while, and then watched a romantic Barbie movie before I officially asked her. I'm happy that all worked out.

3. The man has asked his groomsmen, and he's FINALLY chosen a Best Man. That was a process, I must say. They are all so high on his list, that he just couldn't decide. What it came down to was pretty much whoever spent the most time with him in a given week. Now all that's left is to assign their duties, I'm sure they'll be thrilled...

4. The venue is booked! It's a beautiful little church that doesn't really look like a church, which is absolutely perfect for us! Basically, our requirements were: a big open space, must have sound and lighting capabilities, a stage, an intimate atmosphere. The place we've found is just perfect for all of those fields, so, voila! Venue. Done. (And, it's cheeeeap!)

5. We've had a meeting with a potential photographer (I'm already decided, mind you, the man would be content with disposables to capture our precious memories...) and he is divine. He's personable and charismatic, seems to really truly care about what he does. He specializes in Wedding photography, and takes the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. Also, the albums are simply to die for. Sure, it'll eat up about 25% of our budget, but you have GOT to see these pictures!

6. I'm hoping we can find some family members who want to cook up some food for our special day! All we need is enough meatballs, potatoes, mixed vegetables, ham, buns, salad, etc. for 120 people. If I can assign that task to enough people, I think we can come up with a really fun meal! And people appreciate when you go that extra mile, serve a home cooked meal, really a personal touch I think. (and, low on the $$$ scale... tehe)

7. I have my dress!!!

8. No I will not describe it to you. Stop asking.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

"Hey, babe." The man mumbled, poking me in the shoulder. He was stooped up on the couch, and I was sitting cross legged on the hardwood floor. "Isn't it a nice day?"

"Sure it is, Sweetheart." It had been a basic remark, and required a basic response.

"You know," he started again. "You're always saying how we never take enough pictures of us together. We should go to the park and take pictures. It's a nice time of day for that too." He was right, however this was an odd thing for the man to say. It isn't that he isn't a sweet boy, he just never thinks of this sort of thing. And he did. I wasn't going to complain.

"Uhm, sure. That sounds good. Right now?"

"Yeah, I brought your camera from the city." And with that, yet another strange remark, he ran out to the car to retrieve said camera. He has never brought my camera along from the city, but he did today. We were out visiting my family in my home town when this perfect picture taking moment arose.

We got into the car and drove a couple of blocks over to the park. We decided to take pictures near the Nature Pond. We parked awkwardly at the local scenery, and climbed out of the car. We walked over across the gravel and into a grassy ditch. It was currently filled with water so with a running start we clumsily lept across it. I made it, though I coated my flip-flop in mud. He made it with ease. Figures.

We pushed our way through the tall tree line and onto the stone path winding around the expanse of water. The colours were spectacular, since the sun was just about to hit the horizon. The pond was lit up with rich oranges and reds. I couldn't believe it. Suddenly my sweet nostalgia hit me, and I recalled that very first night when the man and I went for that fateful walk to the Nature Pond that changed our entire relationship. It was the night that God led me to his doorstep and asked me to ring on his doorbell. It was the night we walked all over town and discovered everything we had in common, and what an incredible connection we had. We eventually made it to the warm-up shack at the pond, where we ended up talking for hours into the night, and I cried in front of someone for the first time in years. And somehow he comforted me in just the right way. It was fate, and it was beautiful. And I couldn't help recalling.

We walked along the stoney path, and broke away through some grass to climb a tall hill overlooking the water and that fateful skating shack. We made it to the top, and marvelled at the sun kissing the fields in the distance. It was June 20th, the longest day of the year, and all of the edges of the evening were dusted with gold.

The man took the camera, and snapped a few shots of me. I hated all of them. I then asked to take a few pictures of him and he agreed. I took the camera in my hands but on the screen was a video of some sort. I pressed play, only to find sweet piano music playing from a speaker on the screen, to the beautiful tune of "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. (I later found out that he actually transcribed this music, note for note, by hand since the music could not be found otherwise. It took him hours to write.) I looked up from the small LCD screen and saw that he had reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny slip of paper. Then, as the piano music rose and fell, he began to sing the lyrics from off the slip of paper. I lifted my hands and covered my gaping mouth as I started to cry.


The Luckiest
Ben Folds

I dont get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot.
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here.

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday.
And I know...

That I am, I am, I am
The luckiest.

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes,
I see one pair that I recognize.
And I know...

That I am, I am, I am
The luckiest.

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

Next door theres an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep.
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away.

Im sorry, I know thats a strange way to tell you that I know we belong.
That I know...

That I am, I am, I am
The luckiest.


Half way through the song his voice began to crack, because he saw that I was crying. I went up to him and held him, and we danced all through the remainder of the song as he sang sweetly into my ear there, in the sunset.

When the song ended, in his perfect man way, he said, "I guess all that's left is this last part."

"What last part...?" I cracked.

As he knelt down on one knee, he smiled and said, "This is how it works, right?" He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black box. I could feel the words "oh my God" forming in my mouth. He opened the box to reveal the only thing more beautiful than the sun that evening.

"Holly Penner, will you marry me?"

...

"Yes!" I nodded and stuck out my eager left hand, ring finger petrified with anticipation. He slipped the most beautiful ring I have ever seen over my finger and stood up. I jumped into his arms and he twirled me around there on top of that hill in my little yellow sun dress. And we kissed and hugged, and reeled at the intensity of this surreal moment in our history book. Everything was different, and yet so unbelievably right.

We still can not stop calling each other "Fiance" and I don't know if there is a surface in my house that does not have "Holly Gilson" scratched into it.

There's something so beautiful in that moment when all of your dreams come true. When you become that person that you talk about, that person that you long to be, that person in that place with that person with that smile, and everything is as it should be. And it smells like heaven, tastes like ecstacy, feels like euphoria, and before you know it you're floating above the ground, spinning in a brand new world. Thrust into the fuzzy pink corners of your dream land.

And only 143 days until I get to do that again.

"Tex-Ass Hold 'Em"

Here's my new painting commission, done for a lady I work with. She says that she honestly has no idea why her boyfriend wanted it, but he simply always had. I suppose it will always be a mystery. Suffice it to say, I absolutely love how it turned out!



I thought of so many names for it, too. It was really hard to narrow it down to one.

"King, Queen, Jack-ass"
"Asses High"
"Jack-Ass of Spades"

You get the picture.